I just need some space

2006-10-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

I found myself with this strange feeling coming over me .....I can't really explain what it is ..so I will just descripe it ...it's when you are sad but somehow not worried about it ...calm but nervous...a sense of happiness coming by and anxiety from what is to become ... a sense of accomplishment accompained by a sense of fear of failure ....you feel that you can do whatever but in the next minute you think you cant do anything ....
I guess this is just the next logical step to this new change in my life ...I know in my heart things will work out for the best in the end ...all I have to do is relax and let life go by with its ups and downs.....
In the end if your reading this (you know who you are ) know that I am allright and waiting for you .....

2006-09-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

We are going back again....back to that place where you want to escape but somehow you want to go .....I guess I could say that I did alot of what I wanted to do this time....but I would be just lying...truth of the matter is that I lost so much.....I had faith in the wrong kind of people but amazingly enough I never thought things would turn out like this ...I thought I was stronger than to let this get to me ...but my pride got the best of me ...I could say I want to take it all back and start over ...but actually I am not sure that's what I want ...I dont want to be that kind of person ..I will never let this kind of thing happen again..............

I am sorry ..I know this doesnt make much sense to you but to me it does ...I am not writing this for you I just wanted some kind of proof that I took that step and I am capable of handeling it

THIS IS THE END OF A CHAPTER IN MY LIFE AND THOUGHT TO MANY PEOPLES' EYES I MAY LOOK THE SAME AND ACT THE SAME BUT I AM NOT THE SAME ..NOT ANYMORE

SALAM

2006-08-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

So I thought to my self what's a better way to feel a change than an actual change ....BIG MISTAKE..I don't know what's gotten into me...I had this strange impulse and I acted on it which is totally out of charecter ask anyone who knows me ....
now I wont say what was it that I did but I will say this.....It will take alot of time for me to get back to the way I was ...sometimes I think to myself "It's all good ...change is nice "...but sometime I can't help but say "what did I do??".....
It just shows to tell you that we build some sort of a figure for ourselves and we get comfortable in that way ...and somehow even the slightest change can make you feel like someone else....
You look into yourself in the mirror and can't help but wounder"Is this for the better ???..or will it all go down hill from there??""..I guess time is the only thing that can answer that ...

2006-08-16T05:37:00.000-07:00

2006-07-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

I am a sucker for laughter ...

I believe that the only reason you get old is that your heart no longer enjoys the blessing of laughing

so I try to thank God that I have that

I realize that in these days and time it may not be easy to laugh

but WE CAN STILL TRY

2006-07-27T11:15:00.000-07:00

Just a little something to put a smile on your face...I hope
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish,unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or>feminine.>House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."? "Pencil," however,>is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into >two> groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves> whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of >the> >>feminine gender ("la computer"), because
1. No one but their creator understands their internal>logic
2. The native language they use to communicate with other> >>computers> >>is incomprehensible to everyone else
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory >for> >>possible> >>later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself> >>spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computer"), because
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them >on
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for >themselves
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but>half the> >>time> >>they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had> >>waited> >>a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won!!!!!!!

2006-07-12T04:40:00.000-07:00

I just feel like I am being pulled in so many different directions …not knowing what I want in life or where I am going……I don’t see myself in ten years from now doing anything different that what I am doing now
Poof I am 19 huh …where did my the time go ??…wait I need them back I want to do somethings in a different way ….I wanted to do so many things and be good at them too
Oh well it’s no use crying over spilt milk right??….WRONG …I know you are probably saying that I still have my whole life ahead of me to maybe try and do something with it but I cant help but wonder if maybe the future is a reflection of the past

2006-07-12T04:29:00.000-07:00

Summer .....

I am more of a winter person if you ask me .......

I like feeling cold and cuddling under my blanket and I love the rain.....

not that summer is all that bad ...

I am sure there are good things about it ....

I cant think of any right now because it's hot and the wheather sucks all day ...

but hey that's just my opinion...

I just got out of my exams and I am already thinking that I am bored like hell..

dont get me wrong I am so happy we finished but I cant help thinking ...now what??what am I to do with all that time got any ideas???

2006-04-19T12:28:00.000-07:00

Who am I?Who are you?? Do you know that?...Do I really know??..I dont think so....
They say that everyone has his own identity, his own charecter , his own individuality...
but I see that most of us are just copies of one another made by the rule of the society which we live in
curved by the border lines of our traditions ....I am not saying that I am agianst being influenced by our past but I feel that
there are no more genuine thoughts....No authinticity.....
everyone even wears the same way ...and anyone who even dares to break this cycle gets labelled as a freak or as a rebel......
I dont think I am a rebel ..I am simply someone trying to crawl out of this hole ...I admit I do fall right back in some times but I refuse to give up ...

2006-04-04T22:53:00.000-07:00

Human behavior, peculiar it seems
Some thrive on hate, and some love and dream
Everyone's got a purpose and wants to be loved
I think I found my purpose, I think I found love
Hidden inside myselfHidden inside, inside myself
Tragedy strikes when you least expect it
Tragedy strikes when you least expect it
Hate and destruction crashed down on our world
The stars and the stripes, the boys and the girls
It's sad it took war just to bring us together
I believe in love, I believe in forever
Hidden inside myself Hidden inside, inside myself
Tragedy strikes when you least expect it
Tragedy strikes when you least expect it
You better run, you better run For your lives, for your lives
Shed a tear, shed a tear, live in fear
You better run, you better run For your life, for your life
Shed a tear, shed a tear, live in fear
You better run, you better run For your life, for your life
Shed a tear, shed a tear, live in fear
I dont know it just felt like a song coming up ...this was actually the lyrics of lovehate tragedy by papa roach!!

2006-03-31T02:41:00.000-08:00

"I am so sorry I'm late.....I'll be there in 5 min " these are my signature words everyone who knows me even remotly can tell you that much about me. Of course the nautural response from my friends is always "ok guys she will be there in 30 min " ....I dont do it intentionally and it's is not because i want to be fasionably late ....I think it may be to some extend genetic because my dad and my brother share the same thing with me but my mum on the other hand is way more than punctual she mostly arrives 30 min early except if she gives me a ride .....
I am not saying it is a good thing as we must keep in mind that I always appologize to my friends and everytime I really try hard not be late ...I dont know if they become really mad at me or they have just got used to it ...

2006-02-27T08:01:00.000-08:00

It was 8:00 am this morning and as usual i was at college ....and I got to the cafeteria to get a drink ....i saw some of my good friends and we ended up chatting for a while and then i left ....
At about 12 I finished my lectuers and I wanted to hang out with friends so the first thought that got to my head was that they will be in the cafeteria ....when you think about it most college students hang out there more than they do attending lectures ....and it's a really strange place for me as I only go there on a need to go bases ....but once you step inside it's like a different world than college with all its music, the smoke, the laughter and the noise. Some people even go there to study !! which for the life of me I can never get why although I tried it once ...cant say that it was working as I ended watching TV and chatting with everyone I knew there...It didnt work :>....but truth be told if I dont have something else to do ..it's a fun place to go where the lights never go out and the fun never stops.....

2006-02-25T10:20:00.000-08:00

With everything that's going on in the world lately not a day goes by without hearing about death.
I have been fortunate enough not to deal with such a situation except for last month. I was told that my Favoutite Arabic teacher at high school passed away. Also, today I found out that one of my friends and her sister were on "EL-SALAAM" . My friend was saved while her sister didnt make it.
I think I just want to say that death isn't the end and we must find the strength from within to move on armed by our faith that when our time comes we just go ...and that hopefully our loved ones are in a better place.
Finally we must remember that ..The end of one's life is only the begining .....
Peace be Upon you all ......
Pray for all our loved ones...as will I... and hopefully when my time comes you will pray for me....

2006-02-23T13:13:00.000-08:00

sometimes you get this urge to do something out of the ordinady ....it may not be that strange to you but for me they are just not the things that i would do...
Here are some of my thoughts on one of those times...
I want to buy a blue flower,
I want to wear something yellow.....
I want to stand in the middle of the room and scream ....
I want to sing out as loud as I can ... I want to dance..
I want to go home ...
I want to go out .....
I want to do anything ...
I want to do everything ....
I want all the time in the world....
I want freedom....

2006-02-21T16:07:00.000-08:00

I've always hated the begining of a relationship ...It's that first conversation which makes me uncomfortable...
hi! what's your name?
I'm .....
Nice to meet you.
What is your name?
................
what do u do?
.......
....and more ...
I realize that it is important to ask these questions .....you cant really skip them ....I am horrible with them ...I have the worst memory ever....sometime you can be my friend for a long time and i wouldnt know your name .....it's not a matter of disrespect....or that i dont care ....I truly do ....that's me ....that's why i really find it easier when people introduce me ...